May you find grace in this world, recognise your worth and let yourself shine.
by Debbie Williams, Regional Volunteer Co-ordinator
“I hope you find grace in this world, that you recognize your worth, and that you can shine."
~ Lindsay Tang
Lindsay Tang’s quote seems like such a great way to wish everyone a happy new year. It also struck me how much in line this quote is with our Christian faith. As Christians at MitE, we believe that God loves each of us wholly and unconditionally regardless of whether we believe in Him or not. As Chaplains we are not here to try to convince anyone of that, simply to share our faith in that belief by being present with anyone who is happy to chat, sharing a confidential space where the person decides what they want to talk about.
As chaplains our role is about meeting people wherever they are on their life journey, being a listening ear, helping connect with the hope inside that we all need in order to live our best lives; hopefully brightening people’s day a little with a positive interaction. Chaplains aim to shower the people they engage with, with positive regard to remind each person how important and valued they are as an individual. It’s only when we believe in our value and our worth as humans that we can recognise and use our gifts to shine. We all have a light inside of us that becomes brighter as we connect with hope and grace. It’s a journey rather than a destination, one that has many stops along the way. Sometimes we go backwards and shine less brightly as we go through troubled times that make us feel bad about ourselves in some way. Other times life feels good, and we allow ourselves to grow and blossom which automatically draws other people to us as our internal light shines more brightly.
What are you good at? Have you allowed yourself to recognise some of your own gifts yet or do you feel wary of accepting that you have any? Most of us go through a phase of feeling somewhat helpless or not good at anything at times. Where are you on your journey? Many of the most inspirational people in life have lived through tremendous trials and difficulties. Think of Helen Keller or Nelson Mandela. Sometimes it seems as if people who live through something traumatic are somehow able to rise above it in order to grow and develop to their full potential. As if we need the darkness in order to appreciate the light, not that anyone would wish hurt and pain on someone - but there is something comforting if you are experiencing it at the moment in acknowledging that others have lived through it and managed to turn it into something that works for their good.
How do you think of yourself? Are you fairly positive about yourself or do you give in to those negative thoughts that put you down and make you feel unhappy? Happiness really is a state of mind, though it can be difficult some days to choose to be happy, to ignore those little barbs that our minds so often throw up at us out of left field. What techniques and tricks have you learned to help you turn a negative into a positive? To stop yourself from thinking I can’t do something (or anything) into I might not be able to do that particular thing yet but I’m good at (something else), or but I’m learning, and mistakes are a part of the process. Positive thinking is about giving yourself a break and accepting that not one of us is perfect, ever! No matter how great someone seems and how glossy their life looks from the outside, they are going to have days where things go wrong and where they feel less confident about their own life. Some people are just more practised than others at not letting the doubts take over. Not allowing those negative thoughts to have too much head room.
Grace is about forgiveness, being able to forgive yourself for the things that have happened in the past so that you can learn from them and let go of them as you move forward into the future with hope. It’s also about being able to forgive others who have hurt you in the past rather than holding on to the hurt and bitterness that causes. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you pretend that the hurt they caused doesn’t matter, that just causes more problems in the long run. It’s about acknowledging that it happened, it hurt, it will take you a long time to really trust that person again – but it’s done, it can’t be changed - so reflect on what you can learn from that situation and let it go. Holding on to anger and hurt cause more harm to ourselves than anyone else as difficult as that can be to acknowledge and live with. It takes practice and a developing self-awareness to be able to achieve that and deep hurts take longer to let go of no matter who you are and how much you have practised. It is only when we reach that stage of self-awareness and self-acceptance though that we can recognise our own worth, feel valued and as though we have something to offer that we are able to let ourselves shine. So, my wish for you this new year is (almost) in the words of Lindsay Tang: may you find grace in this world, recognise your worth and let yourself shine.