Musings in Lockdown #3

by Debbie Williams, Regional Volunteer Co-ordinator

Is this so very different from living in the first two lockdowns? Are the frustrations and fears magnified as we seem to get further away from, rather than closer to, some kind of normality despite the vaccination programme?  How do you fill your days? Are you still going out to work or are you working from home? Are you furloughed and worried about the future of your employment as this time goes on and on or have you already been made redundant and even more worried about future employment as you cope with this new day to day situation?  Are you home-schooling children, perhaps of different ages? Are you trying to work from home whilst home schooling children of different ages?

There are so many different situations that we find ourselves in that it can be hard to find the best advice for coping and maintaining well-being in this situation. For example, it’s all very well knowing that eating healthily, keeping to a structure and making sure to do some exercise daily.  How on earth do you fit that in if you are coping with home schooling and home working and then entertaining bored children who can’t meet their friends or participate in any of their usual activities at the same time?  Personally, I find it hard enough some days to do the healthy eating / exercise thing without those additional stresses. So, what strategies have you come up with to help you navigate the latest restrictions? Have you created some structure for yourself or do you prefer to let the days unravel at their own pace and deal with each issue or emotion as it arises?

It’s perfectly natural in the current situation to feel frustrated, lonely, irritable and lacking in concentration. These symptoms are an acknowledged part of ‘cabin fever’. Finding ourselves in a situation where we are restricted from engaging in many of the things that usually make up our daily routine and contribute to our enjoyment of life, or our feelings of identity and our place in society, will naturally lead to some negative emotional reactions. The important thing is to be able to recognise those and find ways of dealing with them, rather than beat ourselves up more because we are experiencing them.

I love this image and quote, not because I like rain (I really don’t, however necessary I know that it is for life to be sustained) but because it reminds me that there is beauty, peace and calmness even in the situations that we struggle with. I’ve always marvelled at the way that nature heals itself, how every part of nature has a reason for being and fits together to create the big picture, even the bits we don’t necessarily want to see.  For some reason being in or around nature has always helped me to connect with my spirituality, or my inner self. Perhaps it’s feeling a connection to something so much bigger than myself, watching the comings and goings of birds, squirrels and rabbits when I’m out walking and hearing the sounds they make as they go about their business, cheeping, rustling, twittering. Knowing that however I may be feeling in that moment, life is going on around me offers me a comfort and confidence in the world that I don’t get from the news. 

My dogs offer me unconditional love and make me feel contented and whole in the moments that I am able to sit with them. They ask for no more than a kind word and touch and to be fed and watered and walked, all things that help provide a bit of structure to my day even if I’m feeling pretty grim.  In this time of having to maintain our friends and family relationships over the telephone and internet I thank God more than ever for them. I’m blessed with a loving husband too so I have someone to share my frustrations, fears and concerns with and it makes me even more aware of the difficulties that many who are not so fortunate may be experiencing at this time.

Do you have a tried and trusted way of connecting with your spirituality? Have you considered what makes you feel good about yourself and your life? Are there things that you want to change about you as a person or about your lifestyle? (We’re human, there’s usually something about ourselves that we would like to change 😊).  I would like to stop eating sugar and exercise more. So what’s stopping me? The answer to most of our existential questions like that is ‘me’. I’m what’s stopping me. It might be the way I think about myself, all those negative ways that I talk myself down.  Or it might be that I’m blocking myself from adding the structure I need to achieve that because I don’t like preparing food beforehand and then I’m not willing to spend the time to make healthy choices when I’m hungry and just want to get the cooking over with as quickly as possible.  It might be that I fill my days with so many chores or ‘must do’s’ or take so long over work tasks that I don’t leave myself time or energy for exercising so I put it off until tomorrow because there’s always tomorrow. But is there?  Why does it seem to be so much a part of human nature to put things off either until tomorrow or until the last minute? Or is that just me? Does well-being or healthy spirituality mean that we stop putting things off, that we just get on and do them because we know they are good for us? And if that’s the case what does that say about me?

Certainly, in recent years spiritual health has come to be defined as having healthy relationships, or connection, with God (or a transcendent being, outside and bigger than the self), with the self and those around us, with nature and our environment. Our spiritual health is now seen to have a major impact on our physical and psychological health, hence the reason that well-being has become such a huge industry nowadays.

Self-awareness is a key aspect of well-being, being able to be honest with ourselves about how we are feeling, what’s causing us to react in certain ways to the situations that we find ourselves in; and the impact that our moods and interactions have on those around us, can really inform our approach to taking care of ourselves.

Mindfulness is a really good way of developing our awareness of self and taking stock of what’s happening in our bodies, noting our reactions to various stimuli and learning to change our focus in order to alleviate some of the negative reactions that we may be experiencing.  You can click on the links should you wish to explore these concepts a bit further and an internet search will certainly throw up many more options and food for thought.

For me, the important thing to remember always is that as humans we are a work in progress. Our lives are constantly evolving as we learn and grow through life, via information absorption, developing relationships and gaining life experience. Having an open mind and heart is something that we can maintain even in lockdown although it may be more difficult. There are still options for learning and growing as we develop our technological skills to help maintain relationships and as we pick up new hobbies to occupy our hands and minds if we have too much time on our hands. I find that learning a creative skill has given me a new lease of life in this strange time, watching something come together and feeling a real sense of achievement as it grows in front of my eyes (even if it doesn’t look quite as professional as the pattern I’m working from 😊).  Perhaps as we develop our self-awareness and mindfulness skills, the thing that we gain a great sense of achievement from will be our new-found connection with our self.